508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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