OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I CAN MOONWALK!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize