I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
