she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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