Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
