I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
