I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
