I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
where am i from again
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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