Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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