just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
