Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize