I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize