and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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