i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
