don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
