think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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