i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
