I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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