You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
