I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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