you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
