Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i need some magic done to my vagina
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
