p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
