HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
