Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
