chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
