Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
