Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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