I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
should my penis look like a turkey
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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