i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
