I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
