susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
