Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
