Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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