considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
