you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Randomize
