I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
