i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
