yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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