it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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