I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
