remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
