every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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