I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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