he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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