You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
