Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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