I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
