I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
