I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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