Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
