she was so not down for the gang bang
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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