***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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