Please, let me fuck your mom
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
