I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
