Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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