Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
