I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
