dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Say something about gay babies.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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