McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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