Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize