Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize