yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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