Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
