go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
