Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
