omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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