you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
