i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize