How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
