I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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