Sponge bath it is.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
