New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm way too hungover for life right now
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize