R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
