is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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