So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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