how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
