let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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