I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
